Have you grown personally or professionally as a result of Iron Brides? Tell how you have grown.

I will never forget that dark wet night at Madeline’s Daughter in Portsmouth when my life was flipped, twisted and turned! I was completely taken by surprise when I ran into Joann who then asked me to follow her. As good ole George made the announcement my heart raced and my head became overwhelmed with “what ifs.” I was young, engaged, and ill prepared for what life was about to throw my way. Has much changed? Yes. Is it very apparent? No. I am still young, still engaged, yet I can now stand confidently and write with assurance that I am now prepared for the next chapter, for my up and coming marital moment.

Iron brides has helped me make that vital transition from young dependent adult, to a young independent adult. Through my time with the other ladies, self reflection, and other life experiences, I have grown to the point where I now feel as if I am ready to make this commitment. It has been emotionally difficult. Part of me doesn’t want to leave my family, to leave my parental security, or my womb of understanding. Over the past 12 months I have been somewhat apprehensive about leaving these people who have raised me for the past 21 years. Thankfully, I have been blessed to spend time with 7 other women who appear to have gone through the mental and emotional journey that occurs when one finally leaves the nest. It has been encouraging to hear these women’s trials and triumphs. It makes me feel like my personal battles are achievable. These past two months have been hard, really really hard, and being with 7 other women who are all competing for the same thing, who are all stressed, busy and competitive has also opened my eyes to life. It has shown me sides of myself and sides of others, sides that I didn’t want to see before. Iron brides has added more stress than I could shake a finger at, but it has also added laughs and memories that I will be able to tell my grandchildren one day.

Somos Novios

You are engaged….What are you and your fiances wedding daydreams?  Have they been amended with having the experiences given by presenters at Iron Brides?  Along with these questions answer each of the following in its own short paragraph form:

What are your best memories of real and movie weddings? The Wedding Crashers is an absolutely phenomenal wedding movie. The way they adapt to all of the different wedding cultures is hilarious. We attended a wedding last year that took place in a decorated greenhouse. They had it all lit up with Christmas lights and it was absolutely gorgeous. It just proved that an inexpensive wedding can be just as a fun and memorable as an expensive one, so long as you are surrounded by the right people.

 

What are your best romantic times spent together?

Well we have been blessed with 6 months and 6 weeks of romantic times because of our various study abroad trips. First we hiked up the pyramids in Mexico, and then we scuttled through the cobblestone streets of Dublin. Later Rob proposed under the twinkling fireworks in London. We watched the sunset on a high peak in Spain, we walked hand in hand through the snow in Germany, and we sunk our feet into the warm Portugal sands.

 

What is your favorite music? Worship Rock and Alternative Rock. The occasional R&B helps keep the dance floor moving though. Rob has more music knowledge than me. I tend to listen to whatever is on his ipod, although I must say that I sneak my broadway hits on his little mp3 player : ). I am incredibly blessed because Rob is one of those guys who lets me change the music in his car without asking. He never gets mad when I sporadically flip from song to song. 10 second here, 46 seconds there…he just smiles : )

 

Do you have favorite charity(ies)?  If so, what are they?

Every Christmas we give money to a charity called Foundation for His Ministries. It is an orphanage and school that’s located in Mexico. My sister worked there when she was in high school and it was a life changing experience for her. So we make it a point to donate to their organization during Christmas and then my parents contribute monthly. Did you know that 20 dollars will feed many many hungry children?? It just fills our hearts with joy to know that we are in some way impacting someone else’s life thousands of miles away.

 

Do you and your fiancee have favorite foods?

FRUITS AND VEGGIES!! I was one of those rare children who ate all their fruits and veggies without any convincing. Rob always makes fun of me because he says I’m so picky because I don’t eat processed snacks. I always say I’m not picky as long there’s a real piece of food involved! Rob’s favorite snack is oreos and milk. Rob also loves the effects of spicy flavors in his mouth.

 

What are your favorite colors? Rob’s is: Blue, Navy blue, Royal blue, and blue purple. Haha. And mine is green.

 

Do you have a favorite travel destination point? The Maldives Islands. They have phenomenal resorts and island waters. Every time we see pictures of resort destinations and tropical islands, it seems that all of the best pictures are of the Maldives Islands. That’s one of those places that I think is on our list of things to do before we die. Rob and I love to travel, so in reality, any new place is exciting, but the allure of the crystal blue water just ignites something in our souls.

 

What things have you and your fiancee decided “together” upon doing or incorporating into your special day? We definitely don’t have the luxury of incorporating too many extras into our wedding day. Most important is ensuring that we add some sort of twist to our introductions and first dance to keep away from a totally traditional wedding.

 

Have there been obstacles along the planning process that you may not have agreed upon? Not much! I make the decisions and Rob agrees! But that’s not always the case. Big decisions such as the style and formality of the wedding were something we both agreed upon. Rob wanted a much more casual event, like a backyard BBQ. However, me being the girly “loves to dress up when the occasion arises” girl pushed the tone of the wedding towards our current style. It’s been somewhat bittersweet because I think having a less formal wedding where everyone we love could come would be ideal; however, money has been deposited and items bought, so small and formal it is. I’m just glad we both agree on the honeymoon ; ) I’ll show up and be happy with whatever he’s planned!

 

 

Google Weight Gauging Gadgets

Oh the New Year! What a wonderful time to make those typically short lived resolutions!  Every time this season rolls around, I join the many who make the claim that they will get in shape this year.  Well, I have three great reasons to really follow through this year!

1. I want to feel more confident in my own skin.

2. Our long anticipated honeymoon is only 147 days away.

3. Iron brides should be buff brides!

So in order to reach my weight loss/ get in shape goal, I have sought help from the wonderful world wide web, or more specifically: GOOGLE.

Has anyone seen Google’s amazing features?? I have a gmail account which has enabled me to have my own igoogle.com homepage.  Every time I click that little mozilla button, up pops inspiration, weather, news, quote of the day, email AND my very own, weightloss tracker!  It is called a gadget.  They don’t cost money and it’s as simple as clicking on the right icon to add it to your homepage.  This thing is GREAT! Each morning I get on my scale and then run over to my igoogle and add it into my tracker.  Then, after breakfast, lunch and dinner, I write in what I eat.  For example, yesterday I had a grapefruit and coffee with coffee mate for breakfast.  I looked up both of these items, and the program let me enter in the quantity and then automatically converted the caloric content, depending on my intake.  For lunch I had a subway grilled chicken sandwich and I entered that into their search site.  It found it for me and told me how many calories  were in that! So now, I have a great idea of how many calories I’ve eaten, and I get a reminder every time I open my webpage.

Another option with the google gadget is the activity tracker.  This week my goal is to use this useful feature.  I’m not sure if it subtracts the calories from what you’ve eaten to how much you’ve exercised, but when I know, I’ll let you know!

So good luck to everyone with your New Year’s resolutions!  If you have any advice or hints, please don’t hesitate to post a comment!  God bless!

Making Marital Bliss

Question of the Week:

Sometimes engaged couples attend premarital workshops. Workshops include Engaged Encounters (http://www.engagedencounter.org/), Preparation for Marriage Program, With This Ring, Couples That Rock, etc.  Research at least 2 programs, contrast them, and explain why or why not you might choose to participate.

Want to drive? Fly an airplane? Teach classes? Adopt a dog? In order to do many any of these things, you must first prepare by reading, taking classes, and/or by practicing. How, may I ask, is marriage any different? Marriage is supposed to be a life long journey where one is constantly learning and growing. It is the most difficult and rewarding journey that you might ever encounter. So, why then, would someone not want to prepare for this “til death do you part” adventure?

Rob and I started preparing for marriage by asking couples we respected and admired what they thought were key ingredients for a successful marriage. Our next step in preparation was visiting a financial planner. Don Silk, a consultant out of Dover, NH, was amazing! He sat down with us for 2 hours and answered any and all of our questions, without any pressure to buy anything. We discussed loan repayment, individual retirement accounts, and investment planning. We greatly appreciate his time and energy!!

Our greatest investment in our marital future, however, was our Premarital Courses we took with Pastor Dick AuCoin and Martha through the Lakes Region Vineyard Church in Laconia, NH www.lakesregionvineyard.com. We did a six week course at our pastor’s home with two other engaged couples. The course is called The Marriage Preparation Course http://themarriagecourse.org/preparation/welcome/. The course was facilitated by our pastor and took place at night at a time we all chose to fit our schedules. Each couple took turns making dinner for everyone. When we arrived we would dish up and then go to separate rooms, that way we could have alone time to talk and catch up before we went to class. Then we would gather together and watch the videos. Each night had a different topic from finances, to values, to sex, to expectations. During the videos we would have question and answer sessions. All the couples were asked a question and then we’d go to separate rooms, answer the questions and then discuss it with our future spouses. One of our most eye opening questions was rating each other on various values/goals/ habits/ interests. Rob and I discovered things about each other we never knew. But the night I will never forget is the night we discussed life’s influences. Rob and I come from very different families, with very different cultures and values. As much as I would like to think that we are our own people, our parents, schools, towns, and life experiences all impact, at some level, each and every decision and feeling we have. Rob and I grew closer as we discovered how our pasts have influenced our current decision-making and our expectations for each other and for the future.

Another course that is available to engaged couples is the Catholic Engaged Encounter http://www.engagedencounter.org/. As opposed to a six week course, this is a weekend retreat where engaged couples get together and discuss their goals, expectations, and values. The weekend is led by two married couples and a priest. The couples discuss topics like ambitions, goals, attitudes about God, sex, money, children, family, and your role in the church and community. The couples discussions and answers to the questions are confidential.

Overall, I believe that the two courses are somewhat similar in the topics that they cover, which may be the case with many premarital courses. I believe the greatest differences that one may find will be 1. The way the courses are facilitated (weekend/weeklong/before and after wedding sessions) 2. The religious emphasis (whether or not it is a faith-based course and then different faith values) 3. Whether or not the courses are required before a couple is married by the priest/pastor/ or clergy. In my opinion, I believe that a marriage license should be at least equivalent to or more difficult to obtain than a driving license. As I mentioned earlier, marriages are supposed to be a life long commitment, so why would we not want to have the tools to make our journey smoother. Remember, premarital counseling is not simply for couples who need “counseling.”

Premarital counseling is a preparation, a precaution and an investment for those five little words, “til death do us part.”

Merry Memories

Remember when?………You are traveling back in time for this question. Remembering back to when you were younger and it was the Holiday Season…..Thinking creatively, write about some of the best childhood or young adult moments you can remember – families, traditions, etc., what did you do, where were you, who was there.

This year I spent Christmas Eve with my fiancé Rob and his large Portuguese family. They are a young wonderful bunch of people who demonstrate what family means. I don’t have any relatives that live close by, so holidays for my family are typically small. This is the second year that I’ve spent Christmas and Christmas Eve with the Ferreira bunch. The night started out some mouth watering Portuguese treats and chocolate martinis. People slowly filed in from the cold and the kitchen soon grew to max capacity. All night we heard shouts as to Santa’s location. (did you know that you can track Santa on www.noradsanta.org ) However, Santa made a special stop and surprised the children with his visit. The kids giggled with delight as each one took turns sitting in his lap as they received their gift. With full bellies and empty glasses, everyone joined together for a little karaoke and dancing. It was amazing to see everyone come together, young and young at heart and shake their booty to the YMCA, Cotton Eyed Joe, and Portuguese tune I don’t quite know the name of yet. I hope with all my heart that this was a little taste of what’s to come 5 months from now : ). I also pray that this is a family tradition that we can continue as we move into this next phase of our life.

Christmas morning was just as wonderful. I woke up at five am to Rob’s two cheerful siblings who had already dived into the presents. It was a two hour battle to get them to wait until everyone else woke up. I remember when I was their age and I would sneak down into the living room. My brother Matthew would always beat me to the punch though. He would be sitting there with a devilish grin on his face as he announced the number of presents with his name on it. Sara and Tyler were no exception. They piled high seven stacks of presents and proceeded to count each one. Remember that magic?? The excitement and anticipation? They checked and saw that Santa ate his cookies and drank his milk. They even told me that Santa must have seen me sleeping because there were presents for me too! Haha it was absolutely wonderful and I just hope that Rob and I get to experience that same Christmas magic when we have children.

Mucho Moolah

Question of the Week:

You have been given $6,500 to use for your wedding. Big question………..how best use this moolah? Think about this. I want YOU to ask your fiance what HE would do with the $6,500 and write about it. THEN, I want YOU to say what YOU would do with the $6,500. and write about it. What were the similarities or differences?

 

 

Bride-to be’s Answer:

What’s this??? Someone just handed me a $6500.00 check?? Well now, that could pay off .0012% of our school debt!! Just kidding…kinda…
Nevertheless, $6500 is a lot of extra dinero to have hanging around. If it was necessary to put the money towards planning the wedding, I’d probably give it a one way ticket to “Honeymoon Moolah.” Currently I am not sure that we are able to afford a honeymoon, and since I have proclaimed that I don’t want to know anything about the honeymoon planning, I can’t even tell you if we HAVE money in that portion of our budget. I can, however, say that Rob and I have spent many long plane rides talking about some dream trips. We would love to do a WW2 history tour around Europe, or a food and site tour around Italy. We’d love to have the sands of the Maldives underneath our feet, or hike the Austrian mountains… we both just love to travel and I can think of nothing better than to have the opportunity to make more memories

Groom-to-be’s Answer:

 If I had an extra $6,500…    I would ensure that we could get ALL of our traveling friends to the wedding for free and I would pay for all of their dresses and tuxedos. Next I would ensure that we got all of the flowers and extra decorations that we had to scratch off of our original budget list so that we could have the dazzling wedding we dream of. After that, I would think a little bit about honeymoon travel… Perhaps a week in the Maldives Islands lounging and having lovey time with my new wife, while also interacting with the islanders and seeing where we can donate some of our (perhaps) left-over money!

Oh that’s what you said…

Hmm, well after reading what Rob wrote I realized that I got a little carried away without thinking of the logistics first (good thing he’s practical J) . After taking a little more time to think, I believe I would spend the money first on our family and friends traveling expenses. Secondly, I’d rent those gold chiavari chairs which I love so much yet can’t afford, and then I’d give the rest of the money back to my parents as a “thank you for all that you’re blessing us with” gift. I’m so utterly blessed that my parent have offered to host our wedding, so rather than go cross country, I’d prefer “blessing them back” by putting as much as we can towards the wedding expenses.

I was pleased, nonetheless, to see that Rob and I are very much on the same page when it comes to travel ideas and money values. I really appreciated that he considered putting the money towards things that we’ve mentioned we would want, but can’t afford. I think however, that it says so much about Rob’s character that the first thing he considered when “given” the money was putting other people’s needs first. Rob is so selfless and considerate. He is always looking for ways to help others, whether it’s opening the door open for someone, or walking a lost person to their destination. I know that this was just a fun imaginary exercise, but for me, it is another reminder of how blessed I am to have found a Godly, gracious, and giving man. I love you Rob.

 

 

Love in London

Love in London

At this time last year, Rob and I were preparing for our 6 month trip to Europe.  My parents were worried about our safety, but they were also concerned that they were going to lose their “little girl.”  As we walked away and headed towards security at the airport we heard my dad’s voice, “Remember you don’t have permission!” Getting engaged had been a repetitive discussion that was always turned down, but Rob and I had decided: we were getting engaged in Europe.  I didn’t want to know when or where, but I knew that at some point it would happen.  I would sit with my best friend and we’d talk about the different places Rob might pick: on the white sands beach in Mallorca, in a castle in Germany, at the Eiffel Tower in Paris, or maybe in the Sierra Nevada mountains in Spain…my imagination ran wild with ideas.  Gretchen convinced me that it wouldn’t happen though until late in the trip because Rob loves to keep me in suspense. So I wasn’t expecting anything that New Year’s Eve day, 3 days into our European adventure.  We had just arrived in London, England and we hadn’t slept in 24 hours.  I was tired and grumpy but Rob was upbeat and encouraging.  He convinced me that we should have the best seats in the house since we didn’t know when we would ever get this opportunity again. So at 6pm we left for the Waterloo Bridge.  We hunkered down in the very middle of that bridge and waited til midnight for the magic to begin.  As the clock struck 12 and the explosions of lights and music filled the air, I heard a whisper in my ear.  With his arms wrapped around me, and hands intertwined, I hear his comforting voice, “My New Years resolution is to spend the rest of my life with you.” As he slipped the ring on my finger I finally realized what was happening.  Then my screaming voice joined the thousands of others as I proclaimed, “YES! YES!!”

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

Key ingredients to our wedding:

God
Family
Friends
Dress
Food
Photography
Music

The question of the hour though is if I would change this list if money was no object? Well the answer is a resounding YES. As the months creep closer and closer and the budget is squeezed tighter and tighter, Rob and I have to take a long hard look at the guest list. This is my (and probably every brides) least favorite part of the wedding planning. So with an unlimited budget, I would take my black “delete” marker and ditch it out the window! I’d invited all my friends and family and I’d even have my host mom from Spain fly over.

I wouldn’t change the location of the church or the reception. I love Huddleston Hall! I have had my eye on that place since I was a freshman here at UNH. I think that it is the perfect place since Rob and I met on campus. It gives us the chance to show our family and friends where we have grown up the past four years. However, if we had an unlimited budget, I’d book the entire on campus hotel and I’d do a weekend wedding with a dinner and bonding time the day before the wedding and a breakfast/ brunch the day after the wedding. No one would need to pay for their bridesmaid dresses, tuxes, or airplane tickets. Everything would be taken care of! I’d hire a wedding planner that would take my ideas and then surprise me with a dream wedding! I am honestly very bad at the planning portion. I haven’t had a “wedding vision” like many little girls. My only desire when we started planning was to have a winter wedding….which isn’t happening. So I’ve had a blank slate in my head filled with random ideas, but I’ve never had that concrete picture of “this is what I want our wedding to look like.” As unusual as it sounds, I’d rather just show up to our wedding and have it already planned. As long as those key ingredients I listed above were included, I would be happy.

BACK TO REALITY

So yes, we have a budget and I won’t have every doo dad and whistle imaginable at the wedding, but it doesn’t bother me. I know that the wedding is only one day, and as much as I’m excited about our wedding, I’m MORE enthusiastic about preparing for our marriage.

Tips for the Taking

HONEYMOONING MADE EASY

For most brides, the honeymoon is an integral part of the wedding planning.  However, for me, the honeymoon isn’t even on the list of things to think about.  I want the honeymoon to be a complete surprise. I don’t want to know where, what temperature, or which activities. I just want to pack my bags for anything! My only prerequisite is that I get crepes in bed the following morning!  When I tell people that I’m “informationless” when it comes to the honeymoon they generally respond in two ways: Oh that’s so cool, or Are you crazy??

Rob and I love to travel.  We spent six months in Europe and six weeks in Mexico.  We’ve hiked mountains in Portugal, swam in warm Acapulco oceans, wined and dined in Spain, and bundled up against cold Germany winds.  We are very blessed to have experienced so much at such a young age.  We learned a great deal through our adventures, lessons that may be very helpful for other couples as they plan their honeymoons.  So after talking with Rob, we came up with our top eight traveling tips: (they are in no particular order : )

1. Apply early for a passport and get the required shots/ vaccines

You wouldn’t want to book a trip overseas and then have to cancel because you are waiting for the passport to come in the mail.  Nor would you want to find yourself sick in your hotel room (or hospital) because you forgot to get that malaria shot!

2.  Pack light!

Rob and I often traveled on Ryan Air when we were overseas.  The prices were ridiculously low until we realized that we had packed so much over the weight limit that we had to pay $200 USD to bring out bags with us.

3. Before you arrive review a map of the area!

Rob and I would check out the area’s attractions online and then we’d map them out and list them in order of importance.  This saved us time and money and allowed us to visit everything without having to cut something out that we really wanted to see.  It also kept us from looking like tourists, which many pick pocketers look out for.  Americans make easy targets when we carry around big books that say: TOP TEN PLACES TO SEE IN ITALY.

4. Don’t carry your valuables with you!
Luckily we didn’t have to learn this lesson the hard way, yet many of our friends did!!  Leave passports in the hotel room and carry a copy with you!  One of our friends was confronted by a guy in Paris.  He wasn’t in uniform, but he claimed to be a cop and demanded to see ID.  Our friend and his dad were then surrounded by a group of guys, all demanding to see their passports. Our friend thought it was a joke: NOPE! They had to stop their sight seeing and walk back to their hotel with this group of under cover cops just to show that they really had ID.  We also had to use our passports when we used our credit cards, so remember KEEP A COPY WITH YOU!!

5. Tell people you are on your honeymoon!

We didn’t learn this one through experience…but all of our married friends have told us great stories of free desserts, upgraded hotel rooms, or first class seat switches, just because they mentioned that they were on their honeymoon!

6.  Go through a travel agent!
When Rob and I wanted to visit Africa we went through a travel agent.  They were able to offer us a great deal which included transportation, our hotel, 3 tours, and some food.  This was a great option for us because we weren’t familiar with the area and we couldn’t speak the language.  As luck would have it, the weather turned sour and our ferry was canceled.  If we had done the trip on our own, as opposed to using the travel agent, we would have lost our money.  Fortunately, we were reimbursed and used the money for our next trip!
Try places like: http://www.sandals.com/

http://www.accenttravel.com/index.html

http://www.milnetravel.com/

7. Bring portable speakers

Again, this is one piece of advice we heard from our friends.  They made a love making playlist before they left. They said they used these all the time to “set the mood.” Don’t forget the charger though or your mood will be cut short!

8. Use the web for resources!
There is AMAZING information online!  Check out websites like:

http://wedding.theknot.com/honeymoons.aspx

http://weddings.weddingchannel.com/top-honeymoon-destinations/usa-united-states-honeymoon-vacations.aspx

http://www.thehoneymoon.com/

I am especially drawn to theknot.com website.  I found the layout very user friendly and it offered great options (US honeymoons, Europe honeymoons, best ocean honeymoons etc.).

It is important, however to go through reputable companies if you decide to book your honeymoon online.  I’ve hear horror stories of people who have booked their trip, bought plane tickets separately, and then when they arrived at the hotel, there was no reservation or ANYTHING! The company had taken their money and ran!  So newly wed beware!

Hello world!

Hello everyone and welcome to my blog page! My name is Vania and I’m blessed to be on the first season of Iron Brides.  I got engaged on New Years Eve last year in London, England.  My fiance and I were on our first week of our six month stint in Europe.  Rob and I stood on the Waterloo Bridge for 6 hours until that perfect moment hit, sparks flew, and Rob asked me to spend the rest of my life with him!

I’m one of the youngest on the show so I am somewhat nervous about my lack of “life experiences.” However, I think I bring a lot to the table because I’ve studied abroad in Spain and Mexico, I grew up in Alaska until I was 13, and I embrace every challenge that’s thrown my way.

I hope you all enjoy the blog! Please feel free to comment and add any suggestions you might have! I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and of course : ) a Happy New Year….